Lions and Robots and Subconscious Allegories, OH, MY!

We actually had a relatively GOOD day today! Javan played and laughed and swam and it was amazing! Yes, we had some discipline issues, but today may have compared to the normal frustrations of parenthood.

On our way home from swimming tonight, we endured, er, I mean enjoyed, a 45 minute monologue about Javan and his pet lion. His pet lion can help him calm down when he’s feeling angry because he likes to pet his soft fur. His lion can do tricks like play dead or pretend to be a puppy. His lion plays cool games like pretending to be a police man when Javan is speeding in his race car or playing firemen….or any number of things that I do with him on a regular basis. Sure, sometimes the lion mistakes Javan for a “bad guy” and bites him, but he always eventually realizes that Javan is just Javan and rushes him to the doctor. And if the lion goes so far as to bite Javan’s head off…he has a trusty alive-again machine to fix him good as new. Sometimes, Javan wears a robot costume. This scares the lion, and the lion runs away. When Javan removes his robot helmet, which is the only part of the costume he is ever willing to remove for sight purposes, he sees that the lion is running away and thinks the lion doesn’t love him anymore, but he’s wrong.

Ok, did you get that? I’m the lion. He loves me and I comfort and play with him, but sometimes I don’t recognize him and I hurt him. Sometimes I hurt him so bad that it kills him. But I always eventually come to my senses, realize that he is the boy that I love and not a “bad guy,” and return him to life. And the robot. Oh, the robot. Javan has called himself a robot for years, and I’ve never gotten it. I knew it meant something, but I didn’t know what. So many times, the answer to “Why did you do that?” (possibly the stupidest question I ask as a parent) is “I don’t know. Because I’m a robot.” The robot symbolizes the parts of Javan that he can’t understand or control…the bipolar parts. The autistic parts. The parts that make him act blindly, so that when he removes his robot helmet, he sees me running away and thinks I don’t love him anymore. But he’s wrong. I love him to the ends of the Earth.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Sue Olson
    Jul 15, 2011 @ 13:45:55

    This made me cry. My heart is soooo heavy for your family. But I have encouragement from reading your later blogs. There is hope…there is light at the end of the tunnel.


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