The Toothpick that Broke the Camel’s Back

When my husband got off work last night, we decided to celebrate that he would be off work and at HOME for the next 10 days! We went to McAlister’s for sweet tea and nachos and then we were gonna go to the game store and buy a Kinect for the Xbox. Javan fell asleep in the car. It was late for a nap, but we drove around and let him sleep for an hour. When we got to the restaurant he was still asleep, so we laid him in a booth. He woke up immediately and started running through the restaurant disoriented. When we finally got him reoriented, we ordered him some mac and cheese and he sat at the booth for all of 2 minutes before he was trying to escape again. Never knowing what to expect from him, we kind of need to know what he’s planning to do before we can let him loose in a public area. We asked him where he was going, what he wanted, etc. All we got in response was a wild banshee screaming at the top of his lungs “LET ME GO!” over and over and pulling to get away.

I carried him outside to try to calm him down without quite so many eyes glued in my direction. Lugging 50 pounds of crazy wild fury outside is no easy task. I made it to the sidewalk outside and sat down with him, put him in a hold, and tried to soothe him into telling me what was wrong. He screamed so loud that my ears are still ringing. I patted his back and said quiet reassuring things, not because I thought he was really hearing me, but because I didn’t want anyone to call the police or CPS. During this time, a co-worker of mine happened to be bringing her well behaved children and smiling husband into the restaurant. She looked at us of course…everyone did…but upon realizing who I was, she looked quickly away and walked right past us into the restaurant carefully avoiding eye contact. Not so much as a “Are you ok?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?” or “Would you like some water out here, it’s 103 degrees outside.” Literally, 103 degrees. Yikes.

After 15 minutes, I lugged the 50 pounds of crazy wild fury back into the restaurant, where I announced loudly that my husband should get the food to go. In his defense, he had no idea what was going on outside this whole time. For all he knew, I was getting Javan calmed down and coming back in any minute.  (He also later pointed out that I had my phone on me the whole time and could have called him. I didn’t have the presence of mind for that, but I will next time!) I got the kid in the car, struggled with getting him buckled which took about 5 minutes, and hopped into the car to wait. Obviously, no Kinect for us tonight either. He was thirsty from screaming and struggling in the heat, so we gave him the sweet tea. He calmed down enough to tell us that he was trying to leave the booth to get a toothpick. A TOOTHPICK. A toothpick ruined our evening, ruined the start to our vacation. His emotions are so out of whack that something so minuscule can have catastrophic effects on our family and our plans and our time and all kinds of other things. I really wish we could get him stable. I want to live a livable life again.

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