Big Bad Monster Clothes

Is it possible that Javan’s communication skills are advancing enough that he is suddenly trying to help me understand what ails him? Javan hates, hates, HATES getting dressed. This morning, when I asked him why, which I’ve asked maybe a bazillion times in the past, he said, “Because they make me feel like a big bad monster!”

“Well what about the clothes makes you feel like a big bad monster, honey?”

“They’re itchy.”

“What part of them is itchy?” (since I know tags bother him)

“Well…they don’t really itch anywhere. They just feel itchy. Not like a real itch. Just itchy.”

What he’s communicating to me here is that when he puts his clothes on, he feels like jumping out of his skin. He’s irritated. Have you ever had a bad, itchy rash? Poison Ivy? It’s enough to drive you mad! You get grumpy and you snap at people and you can’t concentrate…

His communication is so…different…that I wonder how many times he’s told me a “nonsense” story that really meant something that he wanted me to understand, and I didn’t get it. That must be frustrating for him. I wonder if he thinks I’m dense or I just don’t care. I mean, to him, these stories and nonsensical ramblings are the equivalent of saying, “Mom, I’m being tortured all day every day, and there’s something you can do about it!” And I respond with a, “Oh, really?” or “Wow, that’s cool.” or some other thing that you say to a kid telling stories you don’t get.

But, I get what I can. And after he got dressed today (after a few spankings and such), I asked him if these clothes felt itchy and he said no. So we made a deal that if I put clothes on him that made him feel like a big bad monster, he has to tell me, because I can’t see it or feel it, and we’ll take them off and put on nice boy clothes. Problem solved? We’ll see.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tonya Camacho
    Jul 03, 2011 @ 11:40:46

    People thought I had the patience of a saint…but you def topped me :). I don’t know what it’s like to go through what you do everday, but seems that you are doing one heck of a job :). Does Javan like to pick out his own clothes? Or does he just not like to wear clothes period? I’m praying for you and your family hun :), and hope that you will be able to continue to “decode” what he is telling you 🙂


    • bipolaraspiemom
      Jul 03, 2011 @ 12:50:56

      I don’t have the patience of a fruit fly! I just don’t have a choice but to deal with it. People say “Oh, I could NOT deal with that!” and I’m thinking “What on Earth does that even mean? If you were handed it, you would HAVE to deal with it. The only alternative being giving the baby away or committing suicide…they think these tough situations would kill them, but they won’t.

      Anyway, Javan doesn’t care about picking out his own clothes if we’re getting ready to go somewhere, he’s just defiant about it. However, sometimes he will raid the closet and put on ridiculous outfits and insist that he wear them…and we let him! He went out to eat for Father’s day wearing a life jacket…and he did great!

      Thanks for the prayers and support!


  2. Sue Olson
    Jul 15, 2011 @ 13:57:17

    One thing that might really help is sensory integration. The nervous system can certainly be desensitized in this area. The therapy is something you really should check out.


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