I Like Just About Everything

Well, I dropped Javan off this morning the same way as I always do…with a fake smile pasted on my face blowing him kisses while he’s carried/dragged away reaching out for me and begging me not to leave him in heart-breaking sobs. I had my regular morning cry and went on with my day. I couldn’t help myself this time…I texted the teacher’s aide at about 10 and asked if things were going okay. Yesterday was a super horrible school day for him, and I had to know. She answered, “We have had an awesome morning. An answer to prayer.” Yay! I then resumed my normal rate of oxygen intake for the rest of the day.

When the teacher brought him out to the car at the end of the day, she had a smile on her face and told me he did awesome all day. Which was mostly true. In his folder it said he had an awesome day all day until after lunch. The note also said he imagined another child on the playground was trying to kill him. 😦

He did hit then, as he told me. He said he heard a big girl telling a kindergartner (not him) that she was going to kill him. Sometimes stories do change and become less personally threatening over time, but it really doesn’t matter who he thought was going to be killed. We talked about it again after a while and I explained to him what I thought might have happened. I started off trying to explain the nature of exaggeration (not in those words, of course) by saying, “You know how when someone is really, really hungry they say ‘I’m starving?'” I guess he didn’t know that…so I thought for a minute and then said, “Okay, you know how Agnes says, “He’s so fluffy I’m gonna die?” (For those of you who don’t know, Agnes is the little orphan from Despicable Me who says this when she wins a gigantic stuffed unicorn at a fair.) “Well, does Agnes really think she’s gonna die?”

“No.”

“Right. She says that because it’s a way of telling us it’s really, really, really, really fluffy and she loves it. Sometimes people say, “I’m gonna kill you,” and they don’t really mean that either. It’s a way of saying something else like “When I catch you, I’m going to give you a noogie or tickle you until you cry. So the big girl might have been playing with the little boy when she said that. It probably wasn’t a meant to be mean.”

“Oh. Now I understand.”

Okay, so I told him anytime he hears someone say something super mean or scary, he needs to go tell an adult and they might be able to help him understand if he heard it right. And hopefully keep him out of trouble. I guess we’re gonna go through this process a lot over the years, because with Asperger’s, he probably won’t ever be able to just “figure out” idioms like these. He will have to have an explanation for each specific saying and then he will be able to apply that definition in context in future situations.

I pray that he would continue to do as well in school as he did today. And continue to improve. Sometimes I think he must hate school because of the way it feels when I leave him in the mornings. Severe abandonment is pretty much how he sees it. But when people ask him about it he usually has a positive response. My mom took us to dinner at his favorite restaurant (Papacita’s) tonight. On the way there, she asked him what he liked best about school. He said, “I like just about everything.”

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