Homeschooling Progress

Well, we’ve been at it for 5 days now. I have to say, it’s really not as hard as I thought it would be. Yesterday was a doozie of a day, but we did it and now I see that I can be much, much more consistent with discipline and enforcing expectations when I do the teaching and the parenting. Same expectations, all the time.

So far, he has done all of his work for me. On the written work, he may only do partial, but he does write. In other words, I feel like now he is actually able to get an education. He was too upset by going to “real school” to do any work or learning. He isn’t ready for “social learning” yet. That’s okay. Do I wish he was ready? Well, of course. He needs interaction with other kids to learn social skills that don’t come naturally for him. But that’s just not possible yet. Maybe after a year or two of unsocial learning in a comfortable home environment, he will be ready to gain those skills without as much anxiety.

Basically, the academics is going great. It’s “safe” for both of us. The afternoons and evenings are harder. Especially if we have somewhere to go or something to get done. Public is not an option. Social is not an option. He can’t be around people. Not at the store, certainly not at the library. I took him this week to get books to go along with what we’re learning. Can we say humiliating? Yeah. He ran from me like crazy, growled and lunged at any children unlucky enough to have chosen “our” aisle, and even hit the librarian. He had been growling at her, and somehow she thought that laughing and growling back in a cutesy manner was going to help…

I suppose the academics is going so great, and everything else is going so not great, that I’m inside outside upside down. Currently, he poops and pees in his pull-up every day. He wants to. And he won’t even tell me it’s there. Even if he gets a rash. He makes himself throw up multiple times a day. He likes it. He disobeys constantly. He can’t or won’t respond to me most of the time. He claims there’s something wrong with his ears…he doesn’t hear me. Probably the worst and most confusing part is when he doesn’t recognize me. I don’t know what happens. It’s like he’ll be looking for me and I’ll be right in front of him practically yelling at him and he can’t find me. He is truly in a panic. He can’t see or hear me. Then, he’ll finally see me and be like “Oh, there you are.”  Twice in the past few weeks, he’s been with me, like right with me and then walked off and told the workers that he couldn’t find his mom. Um, embarrassing much?

When he left Crisman, I had the second professional ever ask if I’d considered residential treatment. Which means leaving him in a hospital setting until they get the drugs right. And he could have no contact with family during that time. No, I haven’t considered that. It would traumatize the little guy. He has anxiety attacks when I go to the bathroom, for goodness sakes. What am I going to do? We see the psychiatrist Tuesday. I plan to go in with a written list of what’s going on so Javan won’t hear any of it. And then just look at him. And wait for some kind of answer.

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