Falling from the Hilltop

I had to pull Javan out of bed super early this morning while he was still fast asleep. My mom needed her breaks checked and didn’t have a ride to work, so we were there for her just like she’s always there for us. So, I was super surprised when on the way home Javan says, “Let’s go ahead and do school right when we get home!” I was like, huh? Thinking in the morning?

We’ve recently reintroduced a favorite tv show that had been taken away maybe six months ago – Transformers. It was taken away because it was too much fighting for him to handle and it was making him violent. So, since he never stops asking for it, we decided to reintroduce it very slowly by allowing him to earn one 20 minute episode for each day of school completed without complaining and with doing his best work. Thus, the extra motivation. Not the intrinsic motivation to learn that I hope to see in him in later years, but still, he wantedto do school. And when we got home, he did his entire day’s worth of work in about an hour. Usually, he would have done this amount of work with two to three breaks in between, but he refused to take a break. So I went with it. School was finished by 9:15. Awesome!

The day pretty much went downhill from there, but hey, at least we were at the top of a hill for a little while, right? We went on a walk around the neighborhood and noticed that we had gotten new neighbors a couple houses down where some friends of ours and Javan’s used to live. Javan normally loves welcoming newcomers to the neighborhood, at least adult neighbors. We just got a different new neighbor last week and he welcomed her excitedly and asks to go back and see her again every single day. We don’t, by the way. I tell him that if adult neighbors are outside, then we can talk to them.

Well, we see that our newest new neighbor is sitting outside, so we go up to introduce ourselves to him. Well, I did. Javan stayed out on the street and made a growly face. He did eventually come closer with the growly face, but even when I got down on his level and held him firmly by the arms to decrease the likelihood of the man getting his face clawed off, and even when I explained that there was also a lady living there and a 10 year old girl but they were sleeping, he never decreased the intensity of the very unwelcoming growly face. As he tromped off down the driveway, I very hurriedly tried to explain that Javan has Asperger’s and Bipolar, but the man was interrupting me with an, “Oh, he’s fine,” and I’m sure it was too hurried to even understand anyway, so I just walked away feeling awkward and slightly embarrassed.  Let’s hope encounters with the ladies of the house will be more welcoming.

Okay, so back home for a talk and some snacks. Food usually helps the grumpies. We hung out in the house for a while  until he got bored and started kicking the dog in the face. Even after time out, he kept lying about it and saying he was “just exercising.” He keeps doing this! Hurting us or the dogs and then lying about it. It’s kind of driving me bonkers. Kind of.

So, to get him out of the house, I got a blanket and a sketch pad with colored pencils and we went outside and sat under a shady tree.We’d already talked about this idea for several days – I want to do a sort of nature notebook where he finds one living thing like a tree or plant and draws it in his notebook once a month to see how it changes with the seasons. We tried to find something at the park yesterday at park day, but that was yet another fail. I didn’t even get to say hello to one single other mom. Not one. We were there that long. But he wouldn’t settle on anything to draw there, so we chose a tree outside our house today to draw.

He set the notebook up against the tree trunk, and said, “Nope, it’s not big enough.” Man I wish I’d have gotten a picture of that. I explained that he drew pictures of me all the time and I’m bigger than the notebook, too. You just draw it so it will fit on the page. Then came the choosing of a brown…I put two shades of each color pencil in his school box to give him some variety but not too much. He got the two browns, walked over to the tree and held them up to the tree bark considering shades for quite some time. He then chose “the right one” and settled on the blanket to draw for approximately 5 seconds before he picked up the other brown and tried to stab me with them both. When he came toward me on his knees, I pushed him back away from me to avoid the stabbing. His bottom fell hard on his shoe and then he cried loudly for way, way longer than was strictly necessary. The crying has to stop! But it doesn’t.

The Tree

Javan Drawing the Tree

Drawing time, over. Mommy’s patience, gone. We got home and he calmed down, but when I talked with him about what happened he kept insisting that he didn’t try to stab me with the pencils. So, I started doing random things and then telling him to tell me I did that. He knew what I was doing and refused. I kicked his shoes across the room (in a calculated, safe way) and told him to say, “Hey, you kicked my shoes!” He wouldn’t. So I said it for him and then said, “Nu-uuuh!” which is his usual denial when he is accused. Then I said, “Does me saying ‘nu-uh’ make it true that I didn’t kick the shoes?” He said yes…grrrrrr! “No, Javan, you saw me kick the shoes. It is true that I kicked the shoes. And it is true that I am lying when I say I didn’t kick them.” I tried this with a few other things, all to no avail. I really don’t know whether he gets it but is just too stubborn or if he doesn’t get it or if he even wants to get it or not. I had reached my limit by then and decided to just lay him down for nap 45 minutes early. He did get woken up early after all. Or that was my justification. All I really wanted was a chance to catch my breath and lower my heart rate. And now that I’m done venting about it, I will either go take a nap myself or enjoy some quiet time watching a pointless tv show just because I can. Speaking of tv shows, I have come to the obvious conclusion once again that Javan is not ready for Transformers at this time. I need to find some other motivator. And, let’s don’t forget, it’s Javan’s Spend the Night night with Grammy! Woot!

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