First Day of School

Whew, what a whirlwind!  Javan’s first day in public school, and first day in fourth grade, is over!

He got up an hour before the bus came. Well, you know, his bus, which is really an SUV. He was fine for about the first half hour, and then became increasingly nervous, angry, and aggressive. Getting him dressed was easy, because he definitely didn’t want Mr. Driver and Mrs. Aide seeing him in his underwear. Taking medicines was no easier or harder than normal either. The real challenge of the morning was getting his shoes on. He seemed to have more anxiety around putting on shoes because that made everything real for him. You don’t put on shoes unless you’re really going somewhere. I got kicked a lot. And slapped,  punched, and bit. And he got spanked a lot. But the shoes went on. The only thing I couldn’t get him to do is eat breakfast.

When the knock on the door came, he made sure to lock the door for the umpteen-thousandth time that morning and yelled, “SECURITY! SECURITY!!!” I was able to get the door unlocked and opened, and restrain him near the door. They had to come in and pull him out and drag him screaming bloody murder all the way to the bus. Then Mr. Driver had to pick him up and put him in the car. Those screams were so terrible. He was truly terrified.

My best friend was waiting down the road to come to my emotional rescue. She came in and let me cry on her shoulder for a few minutes and then offered to take me to get donuts. The perfect distraction! So we made a donut run, then came back and goofed off until Javan got home. Mrs. Aide said he’d had a good day and handed me his mostly uneaten school breakfast. He gave her a hug goodbye and gave Mr. Driver a high five. My friend asked him hoe his day was and he gave her a thumbs up!

She took off too to give Javan a chance to decompress from his morning. While he ate the donut I’d brought home for him, he told me more about his day. He said school was fun, although he doesn’t want to go back. Apparently on the way to school, they had to take his shoes off and didn’t give them back until it was time to go home. He spent all of his time at school in the sensory room, where he had the most fun riding the tricycles. He also got to listen and sing along to My Little Pony songs on the computer in the sensory room. He told me that Mrs. Aide had tricked him into learning when he thought he was just playing a game. It was a word matching game and he got two right. Well played, Mrs. Aide, well played. He also said three other adults came in, one of which was the principal. He told me she abused him two or fifteen times. Upon further questioning, he meant that she held his arm behind his back when he hit at her repeatedly. I exolained of course that she was defending herself and he shouldn’t hit. Despite the aggression, they said he had a good day, so I guess they’re just going with the flow.

He did tell me that he was afraid for me while he was gone, specifically afraid that I’d be mom-napped.  And that even though he likes school okay, he doesn’t feel safe there yet. Now that he’s home, he’s acting perfectly normal. Not like a kid who’s been traumatized in any way. I really think it’s going to be ok. He’s going to be able to adjust with time. And I’m okay too. I’m looking forward to my new daily alone time to do chores and relax. This is gonna be good.

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