First Day of Fourth Grade, Take Two!

This morning getting ready for school was like a slightly less intense variation of yesterday. He didn’t fight much taking meds, but he did open his mouth after each pill he swallowed to show me he’d really taken it. He said that’s what they had to do in the hospital. But he’s never done it at home before today. Understandably, he’s associating going to school with going to the hospital. That just breaks my heart. I think we both have some trauma to sort through there. I did see some positive signs as well. After getting dressed, he came out of the bathroom and excitedly shouted, “First day of fourth grade, take two!” He then went outside to wait for “his friends.” Unfortunately, I had to make him wait inside since he refused to wear a sweater and it was 32° outside.

When they arrived, I took a few blows to the stomach getting him out the door, and Mr. Driver still had to firmly “escort” him to the bus, but the screaming didn’t begin in earnest this time until he was actually being lifted into the bus, so that’s still some improvement over yesterday, when he started screaming before he even got out the door. Peeking discreetly through the blinds watching them drive away, I was filled with the same doubts as always, doubts I just have to live with for now, of not knowing if I’m doing the right thing for him. Even though my mind thinks it’s right, my heart isn’t as easily convinced.

When he got home about two hours later, Mrs. Aide told me that other than throwing a few punches on the way there, he had a terrific day! Once inside, I looked in his folder and found a worksheet that he’d completed, a daily report sheet, and a class invitation to a Valentine’s party on Friday. Javan proudly looked over the picture find worksheet with me, showing me some of the things he’d found.


He was especially proud of the “Terrific” sticker he got on his page. Here’s the back:


Here’s the daily report for today:


He got to listen to My Little Pony songs on the computer as a reward for doing his work well. And he came home with these:


So I guess that means he didn’t hit, kick, or call anyone names at school! He’s so proud of these cards, especially the Gyarados card, because he doesn’t have that one yet.

He still says he hates school. He says I’m not allowed to tell his teachers that he likes science because he doesn’t want them to know he likes anything that’s a “school thing.” And he told Grammy that Mr. Driver and Mrs. Aide kidnap him every day. But I hope in time he’ll come to love it.


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