Thank You, Mrs. Aide

After doing so great the last two days of school last week, Javan went on to have another spectacular day Monday. He walked down and got on the bus himself, did his work, had great behavior, and moved up a slot on his excellent-o-meter. His daily report showed that he’d done lots of reading activities and did wonderful on the portion of the state mandated math test they’d tackled that morning. I love seeing the words “so proud of him” on his daily report and seeing that he had excellent behavior.

When Tuesday came and he had a great morning at home, again getting on the bus by himself, I expected another great day. So I was super surprised to get a call from Mrs. Aide after he’d been at school less than an hour. Things weren’t going well, she explained. He was being disrespectful, aggressive, and disruptive. She’d moved with him over to the sensory room, but that darn state mandated testing was going on in other classrooms and they needed quiet. After a few teachers from  other classrooms had poked their heads in inquiring if everything was ok, it was decided that Javan needed to come home. It was the right call. Those other kids deserve a distraction-free environment to take The Dreaded Test. Mrs. Aide wasn’t able to get Javan to tell her what went wrong, why he was acting that way.

When he got home, I told him he could have a snack if he needed one, but then he was going straight to bed to have a nap because that’s what happens when we have poor behavior at school. Surprisingly, he didn’t fight me on it. Instead, he just said, “Well, I have been feeling a little weary.” That stinker can make it hard ro wear a stern face sometimes. He had that snack and laid down with me for a blissful two hour cuddle nap. The rest of the day went fine.

Today, Wednesday, I wasn’t sure what to expect. His behavior yesterday really threw me for a loop after three school days and a weekend of great behavior. He had a rough morning at home and I had to force him out the door for the first time in a week. I watched him be lifted onto the bus and said a prayer for a good day. It wasn’t a good school day, but at least he was able to stay at school today. His daily report says that for the first hour at school he was disrespectful, aggressive, and refused to do his work. But then he calmed down  did all his work, and did great at lunch.

When he got off the bus today, he was hanging his head and slunk sadly up the sidewalk and into the house. When I asked him what was wrong, he said “Well, Mrs. Aide said she accepted my apology for scratching her and making her bleed, but then when I got in the bus all they talked about was the bad stuff I did and they said I needed to go inside without telling them bye or giving them hugs and kisses.” Whoa, wait, bleed? That’s not good. I told him that even though you’re sorry for hurting someone, and even if they forgive you, what you did still hurts and they may need space for a while.

So, how do you know if you’re placing your child in the hands of people you can trust. Here’s how. Shortly before six this evening, I got a text from Mrs. Aide asking if Javan was ok. She didn’t like having to show tough love, even though that might be what he needs right now. She was off work, probably enjoying time with her family,  and she was thinking about my kid. I may or may not be tearing up as I contemplate that. She said she knows Javan is trying his best, that he doesn’t hurt others on purpose. She asked for suggestions on how to help. I wish I had them. I’m at a loss. I told her I appreciate how much she does for him and, more importantly, that she never gives up. Her response brought me to tears. She said, “I cant (give up). I know and have seen the Javan he wants to be all the time.”

That. That’s how I know I couldn’t have gotten luckier with the people who have come into my child’s life. This aide is so much more than just an aide. She’s a person with eyes that can see my child. Really see him. Because she looks with her heart, and she sees his – his big, beautiful heart that shines brighter than the sun. And she’s a person who won’t give up. That’s worth more than I could ever say. So thank you, Mrs. Aide. Thank you for really seeing my boy and for loving him and refusing to give up on him when others might. Thank you for doing the hard things with us, like showing tough love even when it hurts your heart. People like you are rare and beautiful and we’re so lucky to have you in our lives. That goes for Mrs. Teacher and the other aides and teachers as well. I love and appreciate each one of you for the beautiful work you do for my kid and others like him. This world and our families need more people like you.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amy Pruitt
    Apr 14, 2016 @ 06:52:57

    “I know and have seen the Javan he wants to be all the time”….. Tears and tears and tears. That may be the most lovely thing I’ve ever heard. The teachers and paraprofessionals who taught and loved Daelon while he was in Kilgore were truly angels on Earth. I’m so happy for Javan!

    Reply

  2. Carol L. Urazoff
    Apr 16, 2016 @ 10:57:07

    I think God has sent her to you.

    Reply

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